If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
