Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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