i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
