i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
