just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
why do cheetos always look like penises
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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