ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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