I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize