I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
