It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So vagazzling was a success
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
