He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
