I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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