Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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