Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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