Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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