Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
