the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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