so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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