I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
