I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
