I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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