So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
