physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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