he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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