I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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