Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
