Just cropdusted the office
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
