The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize