you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
try to milk me bitch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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