And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Found the puke drawer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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