Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize