I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
