He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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