then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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