Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
