he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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