i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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