The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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