I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
