He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
