i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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