apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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