Will you blow on my dice?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my liver is dry heaving
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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