Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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