Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
