lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize