never play flip cup with pint glasses
barbara walters just said penis...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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