im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
