For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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