Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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