Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
