you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
