I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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