can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
