It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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