Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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