My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
