I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
