I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
worst night to have a conscience
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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